A Mental Health Tool Belt for Coping with Stress

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Yes, the holidays are coming once again. 

It’s a time to get together with family that we despise. We stuff our faces with way too many sweets and argue about election results with people we spend much of the year trying to avoid. Let’s face it, 2020 has been pure shit. 

It’s no wonder people are struggling with their mental health during these challenging times, too. 

Covid-19 has turned our world upside down. Having to go through the lock-down, fear of catching Covid, empty shelves in the grocery stores, and isolation; these are things that can easily escalate our stress levels, causing us to grapple with issues such as anxiety, depression, and a host of other maladaptive behaviors. 

Although we cannot always control what happens to us, we can control how we respond to the things that happen to us. Managing your reaction falls under, what I like to call, your “Mental Tool Belt.” think of this as a resource you use to prepare yourself for any situation that arises. Trust me, I have to reach for my tool belt every day in my line of work, and I hope my insight can help you find your own solace in the midst of total chaos lately.

To give you an idea about my knowledge in this field, here are my credentials for you to consider before we dive in. 

My Professional Credentials in Mental Health

Sometimes I read a blog and wonder, who is this person educating me about the geopolitical structure of a post-Covid world?

I am a front line mental health social worker. I am currently employed at a residential treatment facility for people living with severe mental health disorders. Mostly schizophrenia and other forms of psychosis. I got my Bachelor’s degree in social work in 2018. I spent two years working with young adults with developmental and intellectual disabilities. I earned my Master’s degree in social work earlier this year.  

I have dealt with crippling anxiety since adolescence. I have been on the flip side of the mental health system. I have witnessed firsthand how people with mental illness are treated. The shame and stigma that comes along with that. I bring that life experience with me to my work. It helps me to practice the compassion I need to be effective at my job. More importantly, it allows me to connect with my clients on a human level. 

My tool belt analogy for combating mental health is nothing new. It’s a twist on an established idea. During my MSW internship for the Department of Mental Health, part of my responsibility was to develop a PowerPoint presentation for workshops on coping with stress and anxiety. I would go out and give talks to different organizations. This blog is a condensed version of what I created for those presentations. 

Nature vs. Nurture 

We are living in stressful times. Certainly, our environment plays a part in our mental health. If you are having panic attacks on your way to work because you hate your job so much, that will begin to take a toll on your health. The way we are raised has a pivotal role, as well as our genetic makeup. All of these elements together influence our ability to cope with stress as adults. 

The Center for Disease Control reports that one in five people will at some point in their life deal with a mental health-related issue. 

What does this mean, that we are broken and need to be fixed? That we are sick and need to be cured? No, it means life has become difficult, maybe it’s become unbearable and we are overwhelmed and we don’t know how to handle it. 

Adversity and Resilience 

Back when I worked with young adults with developmental disabilities, I would tell my clients that adversity is as inevitable as the sun rising and the sun setting. It is going to happen.

People through break-ups, health problems, death of a loved one. These are things that can have a profound impact on our mental health, and when darkness falls upon us, we have two choices. We can sink or we can swim. Both are legitimate choices and I will support my clients to the best of my ability, but if you choose to swim, how are you going to stay afloat given everything that is happening around you, and I would say…

You Better Have a Strong Tool Belt 

What do I mean by this? When a carpenter goes to build a home he doesn’t just bring a hammer. He brings a saw, drill, screw gun, he brings many tools. This is one way I like to look at combating symptoms associated with our mental health. Having an array of what I call “tangible tools” that you can pull out when you become activated. 

This brings us to a very important part of developing your tool belt.

Triggers 

Triggers are events or situations that immediately set off our nervous system’s fight or flight response. Our body becomes flooded with stress hormones such as cortisol, causing us to have a physiological reaction. For some, their leg may shake and they start to sweat. For others, their breathing might become erratic, causing them to hyperventilate. 

Triggers may not actually be the true cause of our anxiety, but it is the spark that sets off the bomb. Triggers can be dangerous because they can cause us to act impulsively. Say someone is going through a divorce because they caught their spouse having an afire. They are driving to work on the freeway and someone cuts them off, now that person’s been triggered and is in a road rage incident and someone may get hurt.

The first step in creating our tool belts is to identify our top three triggers. These are the three things you know that automatically set you off. I want you to take a piece of paper and on the far left side of that paper, I want you to write down your top three triggers. 

Let’s Make Our Tool Belt 

Now, on the far right side of the paper, I want you to write down everything that brings you joy. Things you do that cause you to feel calm and safe. These are your tools. Tools can be something as simple as reading a book or dancing to your favorite song. Other tools can include, exercising, being in nature, writing a poem (one of my personal favorites), yoga, meditation, biking, journaling, religion/spirituality, mantras, and being creative. These are just a few tools, but you need to find the ones that work for you.

The tools that work for me may not work for you. It’s not a one size fits all. The tool has to resonate with you. You have to have a connection with the tools you choose to use. This is what makes them tangible. The fact that what you do is meaningful to you will aid you in moments of crisis and assist you in self-regulating your emotions.

A person once asked me what if you don’t have any tools? What if nothing brings you pleasure? My reply back was  “ do you want to sink or swim? The person said they wanted to swim, I said, “you better develop a strong tool belt”.

 Say I am a master carpenter and I have an apprentice under my tutelage and on the first day of work the apprentice shows up with no tools. My first obvious question would be, where are your tools? My second question would be, do you really want this job?  The apprentice says, he can’t afford tools. Ok, maybe I let him use my tools for a few weeks until he can save up some money, but at some point, you better get your own tools. 

Now, for each trigger you wrote down on the left side, I want you to pick three tools from the right side and assign them to that trigger. Do that for all three triggers. When you are done you should have a total of nine tools, attached to three triggers. This is your tool belt. 

Something that is very important is that you should try and cultivate your tools into positive habits. If I asked my apprentice to take a saw and go cut up a bunch of wood and he’s never used a saw before, there is a high probability that he’s going to cut off his finger. You have to practice using your tools so that when the time comes that you need them it will be like second nature. 

One last thing I’d like to point out is there are a plethora of tools available for people to use. But in my opinion, the most powerful tool you could have is love. Having family and close friends is vital for our mental health and well-being. I do understand that there are those who prefer to be alone and that has to be respected, but we are intrinsically social creatures. We need human connection. 

Be Kind to Yourself and Others

This holiday season will be very different than what we are used to. Some of us may find ourselves far from those we love. Unable to spend the holidays with family due to fears of Covid-19. It has been an incredibly difficult year for everyone. This can bring up a lot of emotions during the holiday season. Please remember to treat yourself with kindness and compassion and don’t forget to use your tool belt.